Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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