So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
