i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
