Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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