i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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