so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
