She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
