Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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