Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize