I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
