Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
did you just send me my own nude
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
