Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i have two assholes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
