Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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