It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
