On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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