some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
