my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
