so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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