The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
