Soap is not a condiment
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
