At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
