I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
