He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just googled if crying burns calories
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
