the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
