Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize