Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
