i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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