a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
