your thong is hanging out like whoa
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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