Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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