I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize