i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
