god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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