Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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