Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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