i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
