Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
