I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
