so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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