sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
