you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
