We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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