u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize