Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
