weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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