David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
