Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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