singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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