he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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