Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize