Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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