if you like me you must not know who I am
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
