I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
