it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
