we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
tell me about the fingering
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