I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
