Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
