I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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