I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
