Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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