I don't remember. Are we still dating?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
