i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
