And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
