Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize