I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
