There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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