i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
