you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
