just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
