Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
