I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
