I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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