did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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