Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
